Angkor Wat: Why this isn't a travel blog

If this were a "travel" blog, I'd tell you lots of interesting things about Angkor Wat. I mean, it's a wonder of the world, for heaven's sake. Take a look at this photo--probably hundreds of history PhDs are writing meaningless dissertations as we speak about this one picture, footnoting and referencing and using words like "thereof" and "hereto."

But that's not me.

There were some Geese to the right of this, but I ran them over with my motorbike so they wouldn't mess up the shot. Did that for you, readers.

Angkor Wat at sunrise--or was it sunset? Either way, take that, post card monolopy

But it's not.

See, if it were, I'd say something like, behold, the majestic visage of Angkor Wat at sunrise

Maybe throw in something about Gods and temples and their cultural significance.

Minutes before I ran naked through the ceremonial pool, ending in my banishment from Cambodia. Whatevs.

In any case, I'll show you a few things I learned about Angkor Wat.

Beautiful Belgians who roam the temple grounds.

They're everywhere--Belgians, Australians, the French, searching the ruins of Angkor Wat for meaning, or something.

It's the most difficult to reach 7/11 on the planet, but they make a fine cherry Slushi.

Meanwhile...

Oh, that's just silly.

An entrance.

Sometimes, you get what you don't pay for.

Feel bad now? See, that's what knowing things does for you.

I kept telling this Belgian guy to go around, but he had some weird hangup against trolloping across a "holy site."

Seriously. How does one write about THE Angkor Wat? I mean, it's huge, temple after temple after temple painstakingly rendered with pre-middle age tools. That's right, not a single stone sander or dump truck in site--that's slave labor, ladies and gentlemen.

So believe it or not, these are all bordellos

Little known fact--Angkor Wat was build before both elevators and escalators, though plans are in progress...

Eddy the Tree--also an anti-semite

Also, the trees and stones have been at war since the creation of Angkor Wat. You should have heard this tree gloating, saying shit like, "Whose on top?" and "I'm all up on your grill." =I never knew that trees were such jerks.

If this face could talk, what would it say?


Would it mind the French guy smoking beneath it, despite the multiple no-smoking signs?

Would it be self-conscious of its lips?

Just some of the many mysteries of Angkor Wat.

So, did you learn anything?

...

And that's why this isn't a travel blog.