Dear Inept Weatherpersons:

It is your old pal, demanding to know why the snow you promised today has not come. Tell me. Were you so preoccupied with not missing the latest episode of Scrubs on Hulu that you shook the magic eight ball a little too fast? Are you aware that promising snow that cannot be delivered is a federal offense, punishable by making your hair look like the weatherman in the picture to your right? Tell me, oh great prognosticator, how the promise of snow turns into a sunny day complete with blue sky?

It is my hope that you are fired for spreading your weather lies. You and all the other weatherpersons who stand up there in front of your green screen secretly wishing you were at home in your basement practicing your lightsaber skills have become drunk with power. You are not Zeus, so put down the cardboard lightning bolt your mom made you and hang your head in shame.

Sincerely,

thinkingfrog defender of the meek